I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
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i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
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You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize