I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
