I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
When are your genitals available?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
