it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
