so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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