I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Randomize
