guess who came home with a hottie last night
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
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I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
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I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"