I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.