I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize