its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
