Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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