The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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