The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
