I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
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we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
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My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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