You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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