And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
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I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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