Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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