the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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