rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i think im in europe. pls send help
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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