FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
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i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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