This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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