Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
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when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
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Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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