I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
