I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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