wat bout pragnant strippers??
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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