do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize