i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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