would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
COCAINE IS GR8
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