You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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