So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
