Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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