marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
