thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
