Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
