Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
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He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
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Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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