Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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