Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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