It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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