she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize