I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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