bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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