K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
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Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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