i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
