break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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