so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
