Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins