Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea