I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out