god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
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you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.