You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize