Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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