Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
