the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
