That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
