dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
